Dear Kylin:

‘they come from a time when they had to work extremely hard, physically… to them,  mental illness, or any emotional issues aren’t detrimental. to them, I have had a good life… I get food and dressed well, I go to college.. they think it’s all in the mind”- it is convenient for your parents to think this way because they don’t have to deal with what is difficult to deal with: their daughter’s emotional life. So instead, they view you as if .. as if you were a turtle that needs food and that shell over it’s soft body. But you are an emotional, feeling and thinking living thing, you need more than food and clothing.

You don’t work as physically hard as your parents did, but your life is probably more difficult, living with anxiety and no emotional support.

It just so happens that I typed a poem to another member, a poem that was given to me by the wonderful psychotherapist I saw years ago, the one who started me on my healing path. Like you, I was very anxious, way more than I am now. This particular poem is about Mindfulness, which is a necessary practice for anxious people. Here it is. Let me know if you like it and if you would like me to share more from my therapy notes. I figure you don’t have access to therapy. Maybe some of my therapy notes (handouts and recordings given to me  by my therapist 2011-2013) may help you.

Hokusai says (by Roger Keyes)

Hokusai says Look carefully

He says pay attention, notice.

He says keep looking, stay curious.

He says there is no end to seeing.

 

He says Look Forward to getting old.

He says keep changing,

you  just get more who you really are.

He says get stuck, accept it, repeat yourself

as long as it’s interesting.

 

He says keep doing what you love.

He says keep praying.

He says every one of us is a child,

every one of us is ancient,

every one of us has a body,

He says every one of us is frightened.

He says every one of us has to find a way to live with fear.

 

He says everything is alive-

shells, buildings, people, fish, mountains, trees,

Wood is alive.

Water is alive.

Everything has its own life.

Everything lives inside us.

He says live with the world inside you.

 

He says it doesn’t matter if you draw, or write books.

It doesn’t matter if you saw wood, or catch fish.

It doesn’t matter if you sit at home

and stare at the ants on the verandah or the shadows of the trees

and grasses in your garden.

 

It matters that you care.

It matters that you feel.

It matters that you notice.

It matters that life lives through you.

 

Contentment is life living through you.

Joy is life living through you.

Satisfaction and strength

are life living through you.

peace is life living through you.

 

He says don’t be afraid.

Don’t be afraid.

Look, feel, let life take you by the hand.

Let life live through you.