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Dear anita,
I am not sure what happened or why last year i became so anxious about wanting s reñationship. I feel like before at least i was safe from everyone. Right now there are times while i do not feel anything at all and thhere are others when i feel so much pain, mainly because all the time we spent together, this was kind of my longest “relationship” or whatever it was. I cannot sleep, but i do not feel sleepy, just empty and without energy.
I started to see my ex-therapist after the first incident i posted before. I used to talk and she to listen and ask some questions during our sessions. Doing that, talking, i feel like i wss expresing all the suffering i was experiencing at the moment, and eventually i could go back to sleep back then. I was in a better shape and i agreed that i would not use online dating at least for a while. She suggested me to take a break, since i did not have like a lot to say.
But after the second incident happened i contacted her and we went back the same dynamic, me talking and she listening and asking questions. Our sessions did not have a lot of follow up between one and the other even though she was taking notes, she was not prepared to continue were we left the previous time. This was not a lot of a problem for me because i just wanted to talk, because with that and her questions i could realize that i would be fine. Also, she was kind of flexible with my schedule which was yje main reason i choose her.
The last sessions i saw her, i suggested togo through my childhood experiences, we did it for a couple of times but it was likd starting over everytime. Then sinces i looked good and i was really excited due my new job she suggested me to take a break because she did not see how she could help.
Then i decided to try one of those online therapy apps, but i could not find any schedule to even have my first session, so i had to cancel it.
Kay
Kay