Hi Javairia,

I am wondering if your loss of identity crept up on you gradually or if there was a traumatic incident in your life that left you questioning things.  Do you really hate your former friends – this is a strong word.  Do you still have friends that don’t fall into this category?  There is good behavior and there is bad behavior – people are rarely wholly good or wholly bad.  Focus on what good behavior means to you.  Friends usually combine a mixture of give and take.  Perhaps you have given too much in the past and not received an adequate amount of nurture in return.  You say you used to love everyone with no strings attached and now you don’t.  Does that mean that you didn’t expect anything in return for your ‘love’ and then at some point you began to want something back such as attention or recognition.

I think you are perhaps being over critical of yourself – did that person who loved everyone else consider loving herself with no strings attached.  Do you love yourself without putting conditions on it.  Embrace yourself as you are today and love yourself unconditionally.  That person you don’t recognize inside of yourself is still you.  Make friends with her.  She’s there for a reason.  What is she teaching you?

Find a quiet space, play some relaxation music and sit quietly with your inner self.  She’ll guide you gently to your true nature.

Peggy