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Hello,
I am as well an alcoholic and 24 years old. I started drinking when I was 22 and didn’t stop. I have a boyfriend who is as well a heavy drinker and he was the one who introduced heavy drinking into my life. I have anxiety horribly bad and drinking took all that anxiety away. However, when I drank too much it caused me to become angry and mean sometimes and I ended up going to jail for a while because of a fight that I got in while I was black out. It has basically ruined my life. I was in college before I started drinking and dropped out, I have lost jobs and friends due to being too hungover or drunk to do anything productive and upbeat. I lost my car because of it, I had no money because of it. It was a horrible time. It made me realize that it was ruining my life and so i decided that enough was enough.
It was incredibly hard to stop drinking for me. I craved it all the time. What worked for me was to think about everything that its taken from me anytime a craving came on. I created a little money saving thing for everyday I didn’t drink. I would put 5 to 10 dollars in a jar because that’s how much I would spend. (actually a lot more but that was enough to feel better) I also had to spend time away from anyone who drank, including my boyfriend. I wrote a list of everything I wanted for my life to make myself more self aware of what was important to me and how alcohol was ruining all of that. I got a gym membership and started working out. Which honestly is probably the best way to stop because you feel so good after and you physically feel like your doing better for yourself and you feel way better about yourself. I finally started talking to people about my addiction and that helped a lot too.
I think it has a lot to do with making big steps to better your life so you don’t have anxiety and feel in a rut anymore. Alcohol is a crutch for your bad feelings and curing your negative thoughts and feeling happy when your not drunk is what will help the most. Its really, really hard though. Hang out with old friends, go for a walk and get outside, do what you love, make art and listen to music… Take it day by day and it will get better. I haven’t gone to a professional but I’m sure that would help a lot too.
I do 100% know that being sober is 1 million times better than being drunk all the time. It creates so more anxiety and depression in your mind and body. There is really no way to become mentally and physically better if you continue to drink. You’re life will only go downhill as an alcoholic. I really hope that this helps a little bit and that you can find the strength to become better.
Much love