Dear CluelessCarrot:

Maybe there is a chance. But if there is, you are not yet ready to take advantage of this chance. I will explain: the friend who suddenly asked you “You still love her don’t you?”- and you realized that you do, you are still to figure out what it means, that you love her.

For five years you had a sort of a fling with her, for five years you were Clueless (in your username) about the nature of the relationship, about her feelings for you and your feelings for her. You feel something now but got to get more of a clue about what it is. And then, you will be able to communicate to her what it is, that love that you feel.

When you contacted her for the first time in five years, she suggested that she is somewhat inclined to consider a relationship with you but that she is afraid of the results. This means, as I understand it, that she is afraid to be hurt yet again. This means that your love for her during the five years that you were in contact with her was unsatisfactory for her and quite hurtful.

I don’t think she wants to experience that same kind of “love” from you. She wants true love I imagine. Now, you can tell me if you want: what is the difference between the “love” you had for her in those five years in contact (and which carried through another five years of no contact) and the love you have for her now?

anita