Dear Anita,

I apologize Anita- They are not double posts, I was adding on to my initial post labelled 10:45 AM at the same time you hit reply, that’s what happened.  But I have re-read all of our interactions from today.

You did an excellent job – wow – of going back to so many details that my mother has told me.  You are an incredible listener.  From my mother’s stories of how people are jealous of her, to how my father wasn’t satisfactory.  You pointed out something very important – her CHOICE.

She chose not to work, yes we were made to believe for some time she was incapable of it since she would get so overwhelmed anxious and emotional.  But no. She chose not to.

Yes, she chose not to have a larger family, for whatever reason – multiple kids, and large family.  More importantly even–is that in TDW example she focused not really on her own children, but extended family.  Yes, my aunts and uncles are bad people as well – I know this objectively as I have dealt with them on my own.

But see the narrative was ONLY based on those other people.  I would say maybe 85% of my life was complaining and being sad about how our family members were not great to us – how unlucky we are.

I want to actually think about that more, how the narrative was constantly based on these outside family members who were so “tragic.”  How WE were unlucky BECAUSE of them.

I’ll leave it at that…my mind isn’t going past this comment at this time..