My cousin was not exactly the same age as me but he was still a child, he couldn’t be older than 10 or 11. It happened a lot and it wasn’t sexual “play” simply because I wasn’t consenting on this.
About my family.. my current perspective on this is not much that I didn’t feel like I existed as a child, to them, but that my mother unfulfilled desires or feelings make her feel entitled to project those on us and at times, lash out in a way that repel us. I don’t know if the reason for my social shame is her, it may as well be, but the only thing I am sure about is that me being in social situations trigger my self loathing, I simply can’t like myself when I’m around others.
Also i didn’t start feeling significantly uncomfortable in my home life until my older teen years. Before that it’s wasn’t heaven but I enjoyed spending time with my family a lot more than to be in my peers. Especially in high school. My peers and classmates were the ones that truly made me feel inadequately or like someone who didn’t exist
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 