Dear Anita,

Good morning.  4 days and 19 hours, it says, since the last time we were on here.  Interesting, as 4 days is a long time these days for you and I to have a break.  It is a nice thing, very nice thing to look forward to – our forum here.

So since we last spoke – I took a different approach.

It was that “hell week” as they call it – the severe PMS week.  And as I have mentioned time and again, I am quite aware of my worsening of mood, irritability, and overall unease during this week.

This time around however, I didn’t put as much pressure on myself to stick to self care tactics to “ease” those days.  Given that I have been busier at work, to put that added pressure on myself didn’t really help.

As you know I had a great evening with my college best friend last week.  It jumpstarted a week of good vibes for me.  Spending time with that friend reminded me of how good quality people can be.  Seeing that over the summer I had much distress dealing with certain people, it is easy to forget that great quality friends do exist.  Many of my very close friends do not live in NYC – and that is just fine, as we have a long lasting friendship and bond.  Moreover, I have decreased more than 50% of my friends over the last yaer as you know.  Giving myself more time for myself, my husband, and those who truly matter.  I RSVPed No to the last wedding of the season  -clearing up a lot of mental space for October and the fall – no more pressure for events for a while.

So we had a great weekend.  My husband wanted to go to a concert last minute on Friday, and he was able to get out of work on time – so we went! My sister went as it is one of her favorite bands – and we had a truly amazing time.  Great energy, music, bringing back memories.  It was joyous.

The rest of the weekend as well.

I went back to being myself.  What else has helped is the following.  All of the labwork etc from the gyn regarding fertility has come back pretty much normal.  Which is what I expected.  I needed to have that objective data though, given that I am science based as a physician and know the statistics.  I notice how I needed to “confirm” that for myself.  This has decreased A LOT of pressure for me.  Yes, it doesn’t mean I have tons of time – but I am not pushing myself to proceed in that route immediately.  My husband and I have a lot on our plate, and possible new jobs/relocation on the horizon.  One step at a time, it will all work out.  I know that in a few months if things settle down a little, or longer, I can always revisit the idea of going back to this physician for added info – or perhaps any future testing that is needed.

I notice that a while back, I visited a therapist.  Not one that I found to be very helpful.  And I noticed how during this time I was truly seeking to find a way.  Exhuasted, feeling I needed more to help me.  But over the past week, having some fun has been the best remedy of all.  Of course time permitting.  Having those moments with good people, fun times (such as the concert) really can be a breath of fresh air and reset.  The best part of all – it was on our terms and our choice (unlike planned events with others such as weddings etc).  This is exactly the type of freedom and time we need.

I wonder how you are doing, how has your last week been?

• This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by Cali Chica.