Dear Lily:

“from now on, I hope I can slowly make progress!”- but you have been slowly making progress for a long time.

Reads to me that it is better for you to live with a few people sharing a house than in a dormitory with fifteen people and many more coming in and out. Better feeling okay, where you are,  than feeling “like some crazy lunatic” when living in the dormitories. I hope that you never again live in a dormitories setting.

I am glad you didn’t hit yourself for weeks and I hope you never hit yourself again.

In the cooking get together tomorrow, keep in mind that everyone there is busy, and in their minds, they are not focused on you, thinking about you. Instead they are busy- observe them and you will see that they are otherwise occupied. You are not their focus. Try to relax knowing you are not being observed and judged for every move you make, every expression on your face, every word you say.

Keep making the slow progress that you have been making for a long time so far.

anita