Dear Anita,

I think you’re right – CC isn’t rushing anywhere anymore.

Yet, that feeling compelled to at times – it definitely does lead to discomfort.  Not the type of discomfort in which I feel I HAVE to do something, but more so that concept of: “this is what I usually do.”

I told you I saw my friend S, from college – the one that is having the wedding next year that when I described, gave you a headache, you and me both!

Ever since I saw her, I have had many thoughts about how I should invite her to stay with me in NYC for a weekend.  She has said it nicely and normally how when I am free she will visit.  She lives in Philadelphia.  She has never mentioned it in an odd way.

But it’s me – I take this casual thing that a person may say and think: “oh wow I haven’t spent quality time with her in a long tine, I SHOULD.” Yes, a part of it is that I do miss spending time with her, and she is a close friend.  But moreover, it is this sense of something pushing me to make plans with her.

It’s the push that I am speaking of.  The push is what I don’t want.  The way I would WANT  to be is this:

“it was great hanging out with her, and I am busy now, but in the future it will be nice to do it again.”

No pressure on myself – no lingering feeling of push or guilt