Dear Anita,

As always, more in my brain once I submit.  Your last part about the post has me thinking.  The concept of “relaxing into a relationship” is news to me.

I never have thought about this.  Thank you for bringing it up.  Perhaps we can speak more about this  – this week whenever.

Perhaps so much intimacy with my husband is missing, because I am not able to relax into a relationship with anyone including him.  This guard up, this Roar.

No I do not feel distrustful of him, he does not fall into the category of those that I see these annoyances with.  BUT – it isn’t like I have relaxed fully in life in general ever.  So, I have not relaxed into my relationship with him.  A lot of this also has to do with the fact that my mind is constantly floating with Roar about others.  Like you so well pointed out in your first post, magnifying the wrongdoing and selfishness of others.