Dear cali sister:

Good Monday morning!

Regarding the friends who didn’t check on you the next day, after supporting you regarding the NC: when you realized they didn’t check on you, you thought: “they aren’t good friends. They don’t even care about me”. The emotion that closely followed that thought was “hostility, hatred”.

The way to fix this: think of alternative explanations as to why they didn’t check on you the day after: maybe they had reason to believe that you had plenty of support on your day off, maybe your sister’s support and maybe they thought you will be very busy with her birthday events that they didn’t want to interfere with your day.

Your original assumption that they don’t care about you is where you automatically go to explain situations, based on your real life experience of parents not caring about you. This is your go-to assumption. Then you get locked in it. Think of other explanations and check them if you can. Check with the people concerned, in a casual way, so to figure out the real reasons they didn’t check on you.

A feeling different from hostility and hatred will follow other explanations, as long as they are true.

Next, “I realized I would never see my father again. I guess it is time to mourn him”- use your thread here to do  this mourning over days, weeks, months, however long it takes.

And do discuss the two topics you mentioned- I didn’t know there is a concrete plan of your sister moving!

About the compiling of quotes, I will do so  in my next post to you. It will be quick because I will copy and paste what I already prepared, then submit and then edit to fix the mess that happens on the page when pasting from another source. I changed all your “i”s to “I”s, and changed lower case to upper case letters at the beginning of your sentences, for an easier read.

That will be next.

anita