Dear Cali Chica:

Regarding the first of the two recent posts:

– your sister needs you (in the package of you-your husband-his parents/family) as Family. This is what you are to her, in that package- her family. She doesn’t need you as her Savior. Divorce yourself from that role, simply be.. family, what family is supposed to be, comforting. You are not her therapist, not her rescuer and such efforts only hurt her and you.

-regarding your husband and his parents- what nice people they are, really! In great contrast to your parents whose very mention make me gag, mentally. Don’t like them. (My goodness, there is hail pouring out of the sky as I type this, and hard!)- Yes, I do not like either one of them. They did nothing but harm you and your sister. If I was on a jury and they were in trial for the pain they brought to the two of you, I’d have them sell that house and all belongings that they don’t have to have, live in a small apartment and I will award all their money to the two of you.

Regarding your recent post:

1. You wrote in the email to me: “the ROAR.. is much deeper than feeling angry.. where does it come from? Why is it always there, in moments of good or bad?.. they told us every person out there is bad and will hurt us”-

– I know there is something here to look more into, sure of it. So let’s refer to this topic as ROAR as we proceed.

2. I wrote to you in the email: “I think there is a way to  speed up the process”- I know there is. There is no reason for you to go as slow as I did. I learned a thing or two about the process and there has to be a way to speed it up- not to rush, mind you, but to be more focused and efficient. Let’s refer to this topic as .. you choose a name.

anita