Hi Kat,

Perhaps if you began recreating some of the things that you had in Spain you would be feeling the loss less severely.  There are several rambling associations in England that you could join and there are also opportunities to teach English in England.  There are spiritual organizations in every town.  There are also friendship organizations.  Book Clubs are springing up all over the place.  There are college courses on all manner of subjects that you could enrol for.  It’s all there if you look for it.

You say that you had a breakdown in June and came back to the UK to recover.  Are you seeing a Doctor or Psychiatrist?  Have you been prescribed medication?  Did you come back to be with your family during this time or did you stay elsewhere initially?

I’m sorry to hear that your grandmother is sick and also that you need surgery which is causing you angst.  Perhaps when this is out of the way, you will be able to move forward in a more positive frame of mind.

You don’t need to say goodbye to your old life, you just need to recognize that something will have changed when you go back.    You can just see this is a temporary separation whilst you improve your job prospects or whilst you finish your novel and become a bestseller.  The best advice I can give to you is to stay busy and focus on your on-going achievements instead of any perceived failures from the past.

With best wishes

Peggy