Anita,

i have realized that a big problem of mine is that i need to feel comfortable with the fact that, if the woman i date is someone im comfortable with then everyone else around me needs to be as accepting as well, and i cannot fear what they think of this person.

the problem being, i never realize any of these things until its hindsight. Its such an easy way to assess situations, once i know the outcome, but i still cant help but to place the blame on the person most responsible, which is me. I am in control of my own life decisions, and with each decision made, there are consequences. As much as i dislike that fact, its the truth.

the only thing i can do is plan to and build from all of these situations and learn. If i dont learn this time, im not going to make progress and just continue down the same path.

yes, the comfort with this woman was good, and she never criticized me. She was very forgiving and there were no disagreements when it came to the time we spent together. I just know that if i stayed with her, i would have felt regret not following my initial instinct and would have always questioned why i didnt go that direction, causing me to be in this same scenario later on down the road. I also know that i wouldnt know how much i think i miss this person if i stayed. I had to go, and see how it felt afterward. There are major consequences both ways, im just now dealing with them from the decision that i made.