Dear LiamJames:

I re-read your writings since September this year. You didn’t mention that she broke up with you in May until yesterday. What is clear from all your posts is that:

1) You repeatedly expressed a very strong resolve to not resume a relationship with her.

2) She repeatedly expressed an interest in resuming a relationship with you (“She reached out to me lately…She wants to come over…She relentlessly tried to reconcile more than once. Several I miss you texts and a few frantic calls.. she has actually broken no contact every month we’ve been apart… My ex fiancé called me 10 times in a row”)

I never asked you about the problems in that four year relationship because you repeatedly stated that you have no interest in resuming the relationship.

This is how dissatisfied you were with that relationship and how strong your resolution to  not resume your relationship with her: when she moved out of your place, you felt “elated and relieved. The negativity had vacated my home, where we lived together for 3 years. The fighting and arguing over seemingly nothing was gone.. The relationship was riddled with problems.. in my heart of hearts, the relationship was doomed.. I was miserable.. ignoring the 10 elephants in the living room… The relationship was doomed, and marriage/ children/ mortgage was a horrible idea. She wasn’t the right person for me… Please don’t suggest I reach out. The relationship is over”.

So I didn’t ask what about the nature of the problems, about those 10 elephants in the living room. Arguments and fighting was a problem of course, but what were those arguments about, and why did they happen- I don’t know.

Here is something curious: you clearly know that she’s been trying to resume a relationship with you, you wrote it yourself, “She relentlessly tried to reconcile more than once”, sending you “several I miss you texts and a few frantic calls”

And yet, you wrote: “This  makes me wonder if she is missing me (does she?).. Do  you think it means she misses me perhaps?”-

– why did you ask if she misses you when you know that she does?

Perhaps you enjoy her calling you and chasing you… a sort of revenge?

Tell me about an elephant, just one of the 10 elephants that lived in the living room you shared with her, will you?

anita