Dear noname:

“I’m attached to this idea that if I find the right woman all my pain will be resolved and I’ll be healed”- thing is, reads like you already found the right woman when you were about 17, your girlfriend of five years: “She used to tell me she loved me at first I didn’t believe it, but soon I was able to feel it.. the first year we were together was probably the happiest I’d ever been in my life, I loved having someone who cared how I was doing every single day, and I loved caring for her too. The best part about being in love was that I knew I had someone in my corner, who no matter how much I messed up always saw the good in me… It also gave me something to look forward to when things weren’t going so well. There was nothing like that phone call right before bed to clear my mind and put things in perspective”.

There was no other relationship resembling that, or as long as that one, not even close. And yet, during those five years you smoked weed every day. You wrote about those five years: “I used to smoke so much weed, and cut myself, it was like a hug from the inside out”- so you see, her hugs didn’t do it for you.

“I’m attached to this idea that if I find the right woman all my pain will be resolved and I’ll be healed”, you wrote today. Isn’t that five year relationship proof that it ain’t so?

anita