Dear Felix:

“it’s a bit hard as I’m still not accepting my height”- it is hard because you feel anxious and uncomfortable about your height. The only way to function better in the company of a woman is to act more confident even though you feel anxious and uncomfortable. If you wait to feel confident before you act confident, you ..will never act confident and stay alone and lonely.

You will have to act more confident today than you did yesterday, and more confident tomorrow than you did today- a gradual getting better at it, with daily practice. Over time, if you persist and be patient about it, your confident behavior will get positive results and those results will bring you that confident feeling.

I want to make sure this point is clear: to be more confident you will have to endure the anxious, uncomfortable feeling and act confident regardless. It is a painful behavior change: to  behave confidently even though you feel anxious and uncomfortable.

Regarding your height- yes, I know and you know that there is absolutely nothing you can do to make yourself taller, other than shoes, of  course.. and I wonder if there is a surgery available to implant bones or  some substance to  elongate the body; not likely, it is probably a sci-fi idea. But no, you can’t make yourself taller and no asking anyone, including the god of height justice will make any difference for you. But like I wrote to you before, there are so many, many people your exact age, today, who  are feeling badly about some aspect of their bodies, including women, millions and millions all  over the world.

So, have some humility: it is not the god of justice (who doesn’t exist) picked you of all the people of the world to suffer height-injustice. You are one of many millions of men and women today who are upset  about this or that aspect  of their bodies. Keep this bigger picture in mind. Look around you and notice other people and how upset so many of them are about their bodies. This will change your I-am-the-only-one perspective.

So you will see this girl or young woman in the airport, boarding the same plane, but you will not sit with her. And her parents will  be there, so you can’t hit  on her, really. Meaning, tall or short, you can’t or shouldn’t be anything more than friendly. When you see her, act confidently, see that you are standing tall (good posture), that you are dressed appropriately, clean and neat and clothes not too  tight, a bit loose (my preference), hair neat, smile and greet her in a friendly way. You can practice the posture, walking to her, the smile, the greeting, all these, in front of the mirror.

Think of the airport event as an opportunity to start behaving confidently. Focus on your performance, not on the results. If you performed well, behaving confidently even though you felt crappy, then the event will be a success!

anita