Hi Anita and Marge,

thanks for your replies. I can see that you are trying to instill some confidence in me, I appreciate that – but I am afraid it’s something really hard to achieve. I am trying to meet people outside of dating apps as well, of course – but London is surprisingly unfriendly when it comes to that: lots of different people, yes, but everyone is always busy doing a million things, running left and right, always on a schedule. It feels like the entire city has already planned ahead its future, and there is little room for an extra person – if that makes sense.

Dating apps seem the only way to find people who actually want to meet, albeit that is clearly not the case in many scenarios.

At any rate, re-reading what I wrote yesterday I can see that I jotted that down without thinking much. I was in a bit of a low swing, so I apologise for sounding cringy. Sometimes it happens.

I will keep being myself – I can do nothing else, after all.

My fear is that myself is not enough – because that’s pretty much what’s been shown to me so far. Maybe that is why I wish I was not myself – wish I could see multiple people at the same time, without being bogged down by useless feelings (which, quite paradoxically, are a hindrance in finding love). I would like to be more ruthless, and I should very well able to be so considering my past – but somehow I am unable to.

Anyway – I am probably just spoiled. Reading what I write, it feels like I am just a kid who can’t handle life. Maybe that is the case – after all, all of these are INCREDIBLY MINOR problems. Maybe I should not have posted here in the first place.

Still, thanks again.

• This reply was modified 5 years ago by White Desann.
• This reply was modified 5 years ago by White Desann.