Hi Anita,

yes, you are correct – I am impatient. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I feel time is passing by while I remain stuck; I feel like any idle day is a useless day, and the more days pass the less desirable I become. I know it is foolish, and maybe a symptom of the hectic lifestyle I have grown accustomed to (almost as if I have a deadline to achieve happiness) – but I look around me and see others moving forward while I stagnate. It feels like I do not have the luxury to be patient.

Your mental image is interesting – and while I do consider myself educated and intelligent, I do not think I am particularly gifted; surely not made of precious stones. But the storms are indeed there, and yes, I need to learn how to mitigate them. Thank you for your advice.

Damien – yes, there is more to that story; I did not want to delve too much into details though. I surely have my downsides, I do not want to claim I am always 100% the best partner ever (I am an INTJ, after all). As a matter of fact, though, my exes always wanted to remain friends with me (which is something I was not able to do, for my own sanity) and stated they still care about me – which tells me that, whatever I did wrong, it was not something that made them utterly despise me.

Whatever the case, I see your point. As said, maybe I am spoiled – maybe I expect things to always go well, despite reality seldom cooperates. We have all been there, right?
As for your question, I have thought about it in the past. Clearly, what I need is stability, with someone spontaneous and honest. I need to be able to relax my mind without being in constant fear of being left behind due to every minor mistake. I am always on edge, always double guessing myself and always ruminating. This is evident in my recent dates too – I am not able to accept anything less than perfect behaviour from me, in fear that every little thing can be fatal. “Did I give her the right answer?” “Did I ask the right question at the right time?” “Am I talking too much? Too little? Am I coming across too shy? Too forward? Is this really me talking or the person I want to be?” – you get the idea. I am insecure, in short. And yes, I need to work on that myself, without expecting others to fix that.

I am 34 but I feel like a teenager. Shame on me. This is probably due to pretty much skipping my adolescence, busy reading countless books and play videogames instead of experiencing the wonders of interpersonal drama.

Thanks again for your invaluable help. I will hold your advices dear.

• This reply was modified 5 years ago by White Desann.