Thanks for the vote of confidence, I know that no matter how much he hurt me, I can’t bring myself to hurt him. However, that doesn’t mean I’m not self-aware enough to also consider the possibility that I’m not doing something to hurt him because I don’t want to create bad blood or give him a reason to not dislike me….so who knows. At least I’m aware and consider all aspects, albeit not sure which one is correct.

I will say one thing and I feel I can say this with conviction which is weird given I know nothing about my ex’s life now. I definitely don’t think texting me yesterday and my response would have boosted his ego. He doesn’t operate that way. He has never displayed any characteristics of a narcissist. Don’t get me wrong, i’m not lauding his merits, all I’m saying is that I’d be fairly confident that he texted me the other day against what he would have preferred to do I think. He’s not a communicator, he would always rather leave sleeping dogs lie, he would rather something fades away into oblivion without drama or discussion. He did it because I think he felt he should. I can imagine the mental dialogue he would have had about sending the message. I think he felt it was the right thing to do, even if he felt he would have preferred to leave it. Little does he know, he should have left it. It would have served me better as it was pointless and lacked much information to determine the sentiment etc. As I said I haven’t and won’t hear from him again, so it was a bit of a shot in the dark for no real reason or purpose. Just frustrating for me but I’m trying to stay on track and not fall into my previous traps where I see it as an opportunity to open up communication again.

I might aswell be honest on Tiny Buddha that those thoughts have gone through my mind. There is not point in me pretending to be someone or somewhere I’m not, in case maybe someone else in a similar situation reads this thread and thinks I’ve got it all sorted now and self-cared my way out of heartbreak. I haven’t. I still miss him, this latest text has made me miss him more and it’s STILL hard everyday. But it is what it is. He left me. That has not changed.

As for jobs, I feel like giving up! Why will no-one hire me??!!! I’m awesome! I’ve just been scouring jobs websites again today and submitted an application for a few more so fingers crossed!

@kkasxo, any news on the jobs front after those interviews?