Dear noname:

In your most recent post you wrote: “I can’t receive love.. even when love is present. I feel defective”-

– connecting it to my post to you before last, as a child there was a window of opportunity for you to receive love before your brain concluded that you are defective and unlovable. It was a time-limited window of opportunity, maybe ten years, maybe 12, I don’t know. But that window of opportunity closed by the time you were in your second decade of life. Love later on can’t get through that closed window.

It will take a couple of things to open a new window for love:

1. Walk to the part of the house (part of your brain, that is) where that old window is located, that is the window through which you see your parents, outside that window, still thinking that they love you, still waiting for them to open that closed, shut window. Go there and fill that closed window with wet cement and let it dry. No more window. What this means is that you realize that they didn’t love you, never have, issue closed. It will hurt to do so, (but then.. you’ve been hurting all along!)

2. Start this new year with the intent to live for yourself, to place yourself as The important person in your life, every day, through an ongoing, renewed-every-day practice of mindfulness, from preparing breakfast for yourself, to the way you shower, gently, treating yourself very well throughout the day in everything you do.

anita