Yeah I probably would stop having the feelings. It would be like when we got really close and all of a sudden the feelings dropped and I would easily go months and months of no contact (disappearing she calls it but I just chased that closeness feeling and always have), but I am sure I would be fine if she iniated the phone conversations herself but as I said to her I want her to be free, in every sense of the word and I don’t wanna control her or how she interacts with me. She has to want it like I want it. If we both talked a few times a month and both called because we wanted to talk and text more often in the mornings (I liked it, got me through the day even if it was short but I was happy for a while). I can’t exactly hang out 1 time a month if she lives so far away, but it’s been almost 5 months and she just keeps saying “busy” yet hangs around other friends she never sees and says she doesn’t get out a whole lot but she works a few blocks from me, just means she doesn’t wanna hang out anymore but she can’t say it for some reason. I also needed to get my license which I never did, can’t always have her driving here on her days off when she lives an hour away.

She already knows I used to like her, but not for how long…thinks it’s when we started talking on the phone again late last year and kept saying how flattered she is I felt that way (which is just a nice way of saying I was never into you that way). Yeah…this goes far back. I wonder how she will react? you seem to know how she responds to things well, you thinnk she will be angry or anything?