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Reply To: Self Trust and More

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#328575
Cali Chica
Participant

Dear Anita,

yes NYC. Known to be the greatest city in the world. Not in the middle of nowhere. The land of opportunity and the city that never sleeps – with beauty and energy in its own right.

yes, how easy to under appreciate this when looking for something different.

my husband feels that I may resent us staying in nyc. I have always wanted to live out there. The weather the culture. The focus on outdoors – the ability to spend your time doing these nature oriented activities. Ever since I first visited there I knew I wanted to. I guess I caught the California bug. After my husband and I met San Diego became a special place for us. he too felt he could see himself out there many times in his life – and especially after meeting me.

but hey- we are in Central Park, with abundant beauty around us at least half the week. The proximity to doing things is like no other. I mean you know – you used to live here downtown I recall.

I feel sad deep down inside today. Or confused.  Or maybe not sad – stressed. It is hard to differentiate sometimes since I’m so used to feeling distressed. I think you know what I mean.  I feel in a way I am mourning the concept of a fresh start or moving somewhere new – somewhere I do love. Maybe – not sure. My innate feelings I don’t always trust, distress is much more complicated for those of us who have been through so much. It isn’t just happy sad mad. It’s deep complicated and tangled.