Dear Gaia:

I will refer to just the first example you gave, for now. I will retell it in my words, and you can let me know if I understood correctly, and if  I didn’t, correct me, please.

You and her were in a car, she was driving, you were quite relaxed, feeling comfortable, so you didn’t overthink what you said to her, you spontaneously asked her: am I different from others my own age? You were wondering that and you asked her, maybe she could give you an answer. A question asked innocently, it spontaneously occurred to you and you expressed into words, the thoughts that occurred to you.

Her response was something like this: why are you asking? Am I a bad mother, is that what you are saying, maybe I work too much, maybe I don’t spend enough time with you… oh my god!!! What have I done??? Maybe I created a crazy, troubled daughter because I didn’t do a good job as a mother, oh!!! What is wrong with my daughter? Tell me, tell me, tell me (!) What is wrong with you???

And she kept interrogating you for a long, long time.

So a thought occurred to you, you made the .. mistake of putting it into words for your mother, and the result- a disaster.

What you learned from this disaster is that

1) A thought can be dangerous (maybe I am different from others)

2) Saying a thought out loud can be dangerous.

3) Something is very, very wrong with me.

And maybe, 4) Something is wrong with my mother.

Did I understand correctly?

anita