Dear Cali Chica:

Yes, the stream of  consciousness, I used it here because you taught/ encouraged me to do so.

“she is not aware of those both sides to her”- I think that she is aware and it troubles her, to  have these two sides. “the nice side of her can go to such an extreme”- perhaps to compensate for the other side. Maybe she is not authentically extremely “loving, kind, sweet”.

“the nice side of her… invalidates the ‘bad side'”- this can very well be the purpose of the very nice side of her, the extreme nice side- to invalidate the other side. Although some of  her nice side is authentic and genuine, no doubt. The extreme, super, and overly nice is probably her efforts to compensate or  cover the other side (aware of it or not).

“even more than you were”, well, you are not extremely nice, “super affectionate”, or “OVERLY this or that”, and it’s a good thing.  I agree that you do have “a LOT more healthy relationships” than your sister ever had, and unlike her, you do  know how to regulate your behavior with people.

“an extremely juvenile way of approaching others, and in the world of psychiatry it is a sign as well”- are you thinking about a particular diagnosis?

The reason I communicated with her so much, by the way, was that she just ended contact with her parents and I wanted to be there for her in that beginning no-contact time. I wasn’t planning to always communicate with her that much and that often. Also, you were away in CA, sick,  and I figured at the time that it may help you that I keep her busy with me, so that she will  not take your time and energy while you were in CA.

anita