Anita~

I’m not sure where to start.  I went through a horrible divorce and there was a lot of pain and suffering.  What I see is that you are suffering before the suffering.  You need to make decisions that do not cause you so much pain.  It’s called taking care of you.  If you were to leave this man you would still suffer but you just might be on your way to healing your life.  I’m not sure if I read this correctly but it seems as though you don’t have the mental energy to change things (your life) or the financial means to be without him.  This may mean making the decision to down size your life.  You might not want to do this but the turmoil has to end sometime.  My thoughts are about the children (you can’t always get what you want) Mick Jagger in the raw.  You talk about how compatible they think you and your husband are but really are not.  Happiness has to be brought back into you and your children’s life again.  You surely can’t be walking around the house full of joy.  They can see it trust me!  To be together in a situation like this is only faking it and prolonging the pain.  Your therapist is really missing the mark in letting you talk about this over and over this only emphasizes the whole situation and it gets embedded deeper and deeper into your soul.  There has to be some airy light feeling when your with someone this person is only causing sickness to your soul.  Get out no matter how hard it is and stop fooling yourself that the two of you are still so compatible.  Maybe making a mature adult decision will turn his head.  But honestly after what he has done to you I wouldn’t want him back and I wouldn’t care how much it hurt.  I don’t mean any of this to be harsh or cold I’m a very compassionate person however I will draw the line and honestly you did ask for advise.