Dear Katie:

You are welcome. It’s not a wrongdoing that you started so many threads, so no need to apologize. On the other hand, it will be helpful to you to not sort of.. multi task this way, and instead focus on this or that issue before moving to the next.

I am glad to read that your current boyfriend is not your ex boyfriend, and that it is a healthier relationship.

I appreciate you responding to the various things I brought up.

Regarding your cousin, you wrote: “even though she is so toxic, she plays a vital role in my support system. I know that may not make sense”- it doesn’t make sense. I figure what you mean by she playing a vital role in your support system is that you end up “feeling sad” after not talking to her for a while, and when you do talk to her again, you “feel happy”.

So what you think support means is a temporary feeling, feeling happy after feeling sad. It is similar to not taking a harmful drug for a while, a toxic drug, the drug addict feels sad and distressed, then takes the drug again, and feels temporarily happy. Then feels miserable again because the drug is toxic, stops taking it, feels bad and takes it again and so on and on.

Does this make sense to you?

anita