Dear Anita,
Happy Wednesday! Numbers 1-5 correct. Absolutely. And interchangeable between mother and sister. Yes!
My birthday – hmm. Well I’ll give you a start from best I remember. She was very excited and kind. She brought me over a birthday outfit and we both changed into them. We had a lot of fun doing this – good silly girl time.
It’s hard to explain what was off. Nothing tangible. All pictures and memories are happy and normal and a fun exploration of Brooklyn.
After a few drinks we were in this lounge. The concept of dating came up and she started acting strange about the dating apps. Going on and being “oh whatever haha” joking and being obnoxious and “who cares” but visibly annoyed and agitated – strange energy. Pent up energy. Fine. Then I went to the bar to get the 3 of us more drinks. While there is when she said the statement to my husband (that I later found out) “cc always blames me for all of her problems.” Her tone was defensive and emphatic. I can hear it. I wasn’t there but I can see it clearly (not surprising). The rest of the evening felt to me (and once again could be all my own issues of feeling I have to always show her a good time as I am the mother hen). It was kind of like finding a restaurant she would like. And my husband and I felt like it was harder to find A place since she was with us. But at the same time she kept saying that she’s fine with whatever. It’s not about the food Anita- but more so this thing she does : acts like she’s fine and chill when her energy says otherwise.
The next day my in laws surprised us with Broadway tickets for Aladdin – including one for my sister! Fun enjoyable show. We later went to Indian food near her apartment before dropping her off. She later a few days or a week later got angry at me at how triggering that was. As she was worried the whole time our parents could be lurking near her apartment and could see us and for forbid my in laws (the worst nightmare for them). I felt Bad about this as I know she was recently NC – but explained to her that since that Indian restaurant was her favorite the in laws wanted to go there for her. I thought it was highly unlikely they would be in NYC trying to stalk her. They have never done that to me either. But understood her concerns. I did get her feelings but couldn’t help to think: really Mt in laws treat you like family took you to Broadway lunch etc – and it seems your value for that is always overshadowed. Not needing gratitude but always something with her that’s negative.
In all honesty we didn’t want to spend my actual birthday with her. Day in Brooklyn. BUT since she had just gone NC it was APARRENT (unspoken) she needed this support and family day. That was more the focus in my head than Mt bday. This is the truth.
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