Dear Lily:

I think that it’s fine and dandy if you don’t visit your parents this year. Postpone it to next Christmas, maybe even later than that.

As to aging parents not having “much longer”, being in their 80s and early 90s, this means that you are.. aging as well, in your fifties perhaps, maybe getting close to 60. You need to take care of yourself, your health, save your money for your own old age,  instead of continuing to pay for travels and accommodation every single year, when it doesn’t benefit you personally.

Said in a different way: it is not like your parents will die and you will live for eternity without them. We will all die, and we are all getting closer to death every day, so take care of yourself, do what is right for you. And post again anytime.

anita