Dear Lloyd:

There is more in your recent post than what I will be responding to now. I want to respond to the rest later, probably tomorrow morning my time.

“I suppose the answer is to reason with myself and get into my head that my father is not God, that I do not need to base my perception of reality around how my parents spoke of me”-

– if only it was that easy. When your father spoke to you the way he did, it is not only his words, as in pieces of dry information, that were recorded in your brain. Also recorded was the emotion behind his words, the tone of his voice, the expressions on his face,  plus how you felt then, shame, if that’s what you felt, hurt, anger, whatever it was that you felt at the time.

All of that was recorded, and replayed later. The emotions you felt then, these are often replayed without the words, just the shame, hurt, anger, and so forth.

And it is not only one incident that is recorded, but many, and if the many were similar, or felt similar, then the emotions recorded before were reinforced.

Can’t delete all that with logic. If that was possible, oh, if only it was possible I would have saved so much of my life from misery.

What can be done? I will be glad to share that with you when I am back.

You are welcome to post more and I will be back to you in about fifteen hours.

anita