Hi Anita

I just wanted to write about how I was feeling somewhere and this post came to mind. I had a good day at work but I haven’t been well the last few days. My mate from Paris came to visit over the weekend and told me all about how happy she is with her husband and how he looks after her. Why do people hurt you like that? She knows I’ve been single for years. I am trying to date but I don’t want to set my standards short and have messy relationships again. People who I don’t want to chat to keep coming back while no one nice says hello. Are some people like me just unloveable? We just won’t see any love in this lifetime? Do I accept it and go on? I know you said that you’ve got to go on and live in hope but nothing changes. The same old awful people keep coming back coz they feel that they can use me. I’ll be 45 in April and want to go on a solo holiday. I always thought I would be with someone but that wasn’t meant to be. And then my mate says- oh what will happen if something happens to you? Who will come and rescue you? I wanted to say – who has looked after me when I was unwell since Sunday? I had to get up, cook and try and do some work as it’s relatively a new job. I don’t have those luxuries in life and I don’t complain. But why are people hurtful? Why do they come and thrust it in my face when I don’t ask for that information or invite them? The married man, the friend with benefits. My ex husband – these are the only people who want to chat with me. Obviously everyone who didn’t treat me well. I don’t want to meet any of them. Will my fate ever change? On days like today, I truly despair and had to write. I’m so sorry !