Dear Cali Chica:

More weather related news here- power line was knocked down by a tree last night, so no electricity and no internet, plus the generator’s batter is down, so I am in town typing this. Luckily the road was not blocked and the power line is being worked on, so maybe it will be fixed today, but in winter pasts, it took days.

Regarding your recent post, regarding your sister and your Super/ Savior Cali Chica (SCC) Role:

I agree that, very likely, there will be  more issues that she will bring up to you, more crises. This is why I suggested that you and husband make a plan regarding how to respond to possible future scenarios, or possible future crises that she will present to the two of you.

I am surprised and pleased that she has been doing as well as she has been doing, keeping her job and her apartment and having some social life, and I hope this continues. But I don’t have much confidence that it will. I think that it is very likely that big issues will come up shortly, in the next few months or a year or so, I am guessing.

Your sister is bad (old) news in your life. She took a whole lot out of you and your husband during her serious crises. Now, the roaches- that’ s a minor crisis, nothing much. At this time, while she is employed, living in her apartment, having friends, this is the best time in her life, as an adult, and it is your break from her. But serious crises are likely to follow and your break will be over.

You have to put a complete stop to your SCC role with her, you just have to. ALL IN VAIN. All that you did for her was in vain and all that you will do for her will be in vain.

You will get absolutely no real and sincere appreciation or credit for your efforts and sacrifice. None whatsoever. I hope you are not hoping for such, hoping and being motivated to continue that role with her so to finally get her appreciation and credit, to finally be acknowledged for being Super.

You may be invested in finally getting her to admit that you are indeed super, way more capable than her. But it will not happen, there will be no real and lasting appreciation or credit, not even close to what you may still be hoping for.

All in vain. Let go of SCC, she is not and never will be  super enough to fix a person with a severe personality disorder, not your mother, not your sister.

I suggest again that you make a plan with different scenarios, different crises that she may bring to you next, and decide how you will respond to those when they happen.

(And if you do move to SoCal.. do not allow her to follow you there).

anita