– did you find out that she didn’t feel the same way before or after you hid your feelings for her?

– did she ask you to assure her that you were not in love with her?

Dear anita,

We had talks about our expectations before it all happened. She made it clear several times that she’s just having fun and doesn’t have any expectations. She asked me if I feel the same way and I lied because I didn’t want to lose her. She thought it’d be unhealthy for us to hook up if one of us had feelings since she was not looking for something serious.

I know partly I’m guilty because I was not honest about my feelings. And I said many mean things when I got upset. And I’m not looking for a fix for this situation, I’ve kind of admitted that nothing will be the same again between us. By that I don’t mean only hookups. I mean our friendship. We were good friends before it all happened.

I’m just tired of feeling incompetent. I’m tired of doubting myself as a woman. I’m tired of having so many complicated emotions at once.