Hello again, i appreciate you all for replying to my thread with such insightful answers.

I really resonated with Peters allegory about the dark alley, in the situation with my friend i can clearly see how my thought-patterns and self-belief at the time created a situation like this. It is still a big mystery about what exactly had been happening between us but to my understanding he is a narcissist/mentally sick person and i was the co-dependent in the relationship. The last time we met i exposed the feelings which i had been having with him for a very long time and for the first time i could see that it seemed as he didn’t care at all. There was nothing in him that was able to show concern for me and the pain which i had been having with him. I gave him some criticism, and talked about him constantly being in a ”positive bubble” and disregarding the pain which is around him as part of himself. He resorted into a silent treatment because he could not handle the situation and that was the end of my relationship with him, i had to leave him there. When i started leaving, he jumped from his silent treatment into panic mode asking why i am leaving. He didn’t have anything to stop me from leaving so i left everything there, after 8 years of believing he actually cared about me and my feelings. I do see now that, this was a major life lesson for me, and i hope for him too. I used to have such a hard time to say no, i had my doors open to anyone that gave me some connection. I had low self-esteem, low boundaries and a fragile sense of self, this was my wake-up and i believe i did the right thing to just leave him in his dirt. In the beginning after leaving him i was very cynical and blamed him over and over in my mind but realized shortly that he was none more to blame than myself, we had both fed into each-other. I don’t know how much of his abuse was intentional or unintentional but i can not allow someone that simply does not have any concern for my  and his own well-being to be in my presence.

Let me know what you think and thank you again for your time and help!

Kind regards