Hi Anita,

I’m not sure if the comment from the woman at the retreat and what my mom said to me when I was 17 are related. They could be. Once I got past the feeling of shame that the note the woman left me, I think I was more intrigued by what a black heart could mean if it wasn’t intended to be negative.

My mom never apologized, and in fact denied a memory that I described to her. I gave up hope that my mom will ever apologize, and I’m learning to be okay with who she is as an individual. It is a long process of letting go of my belief that justice should be served with an apology. She is who she is and she doesn’t want to unblind herself to how she shamed her children.