Anita

You’re right, many many things make me feel shitty and since childhood, I often wonder why. Nope, not necessarily in a self pitying/loathing way but in a neutral, objective way, why anger and negativity is my default state? I hope not to sound like I’m falling in comparison once again but I’m particularly aggressive or opinionated compared to others, who have a more carefree or fun oriented attitude, especially people my age.

I know how working with professionals works because I already experienced it in my teen years to treat my OCD. A few years later I abandoned my meds because me and my parents believed there were no longer useful and because my psychiatrist only worked with minors so it was time for me to let go of her (I was 18, at this point). For a while, I also worked with a psychologist, one of the very few available in my very little town. She was good overall but not the type of person I would confide with the stuff I say here, I also guess I’m not very good at expressing myself in real life especially since my turmoils are very vague and not always easy to articulate.

As you know I’m still in uni and financially dependant on my parents, the last thing I want now is to open the debate on my mental health once again, however I made a promise to myself that the first thing I will do once financially independent, is to start working with a psychotherapist. Finding someone that can understand you and is fit for your specific issues isn’t exactly an easy search, surely not in my zone.