@Adelaide you’re welcome chick. I’m ok I have my low days too where I feel the same.. .why did i fall for him and i was happier person before “love” but one thing that changed within me was I refuse to let him define my future because there is better out there and I’m determined to experience it. Can you imagine what being with the right person will feel like if the wrong person made us think we found real love? It will be much more amazing. I want to be happy and only I can make myself happy so I have continued to push through. My new boyfriend is away on holiday and I’m finding it harder than I thought. I’m scared of falling too deep again but he has the patience of a saint. The more understanding he is the more it motivates me to be better. My ex was toxic I just couldn’t see it. The whole avoidant thing I get completely. It wears thin. You end up despising yourself and destroying your own self esteem. It is toxic and what my ex used to do. One day be very affectionate and next day disappear or go cold. You dont need “love” like that in your life. It is purely selfish. Real love is the opposite a person will meet you halfway at the minimum.

I’m sure you looked beautiful in your dress! Keep going chick. You deserve better. We all do otherwise we our hearts wouldn’t be breaking the person we love would have loved us better too.