Dear RinaAl:

“What should I do?”-

1. Your physical safety: because your father is “physically and mentally abusive”, and because you are living in his home, with him, your first concern should be your physical safety: to prevent him from physically injuring you. He doesn’t know about your plans to move out but he may find out soon. You may want to move out as soon as possible, to the apartment you already rented (don’t give the address of that apartment to anyone in your family), or even to a hotel or to someone’s home where your father can’t access.

2. Your relationships with your parents: I don’t see a reason for you to be concerned with continuing to have a relationship with an abusive father. Your mother acted like you are “the center of the world”, but recently she is threatening you to leave the .. center of her world (and the country altogether). She never chose to leave her husband, did she. If she chooses to leave you.. well, let her. (She may be better off away from her husband and the country).

3. The right moment: Your boyfriend told you that maybe you should wait for the “‘right’ moment”, and I agree with you that it is not likely that there will be a right moment when you deal with a mentally and physically abusive father and an irrational, hysterical mother. So, today is the right moment, I say, to protect yourself from your father and from your mother’s recent hysterics, move out and make a better life for yourself.

–I hope you post again anytime. This must be a very scary time for you.

anita