Hi @shelbyville

Thank you so much for responding. I think people who haven’t experienced anxiety and the feeling like they are being suffocated by a chokehold can easily say don’t panic!

Jay is an amazing person. Much better than I deserve but I reassure myself by telling myself he chose me out of sea full of fish. He picked me. I just feel maybe I’ve tried him too much. He wants to be friends and I know partly is because he can see I still have a little more growth to do in order to feel secure and mot accuse him stupidly when my anxiety kicks in. What if he doesn’t want more any more? What if I’ve killed all the attraction? I feel he won’t initiate anymore lunches and will just fade away. Wouldn’t you if you had plenty of more easier people to gel with and no issues/baggage ? I don’t know, I just feel really down. I feel the classic you only know what you have until it’s gone…I took him for granted and I did start to take his caring nature for advantage. It’s funny though, I was insistent on taking it slow , no labels, but now I’d do anything to show him I care about him and do want him as my boyfriend. Stupid feelings why couldn’t I see you earlier?!

How are you though? Sorry to hear about your dad, is it serious? I don’t even want to think about coronavirus. Some things are better blocked out.

Good luck with your new job tomorrow! Thank you for the advice. You sound in a healthier place?