Hey Anita ,

I am in a bad guilt feeling . I have the feeling that whatever I am doing is right for me but I am in the constant guilt that I left him in a bad state . I know my first priority is to take care of myself. But he is in constant pain. I spoke to him today . I told him that it was his anger that drove him away for me . He told me that he is taking his anger management counseling and his only sadness is that I left him at a bad state . He loves me and is feeling bad . He is going thru a bad state in terms of family , career and love life .

Sometimes , I think that maybe if he improves his anger , and maybe things get better between us , we may come together again. But I am scared of giving him this hope . What if , he keeps living in this hope and I would never get that trust again to continue with him . The truth is I have lost hope and trust in this relationship . Inspite his efforts , I have developed a resistance against this relationship.  So , m just scared of giving him any such hope and also , it feels like I am being selfish that if things go fine , We can come together .

But I want to keep supporting him as a friend. I am constantly feeling that fight inside .

Love,

Basil

• This reply was modified 4 years, 9 months ago by basil.