Hi @adelaide

Thank you so much chick for always talking so much sense and lending an ear. Your insights are so calming and give me the focus that I need. I did exactly what you suggested. Calmed myself and asked for lunch date when he is back and he didn’t decline which is positive. I’ll talk it out with him in person. Meanwhile @shelbyville you are right I need to get some therapy again because this relapse of anxiety has started to get out of control and evolving in other forms and i don’t want it to grip my my life. Yes I agree we shouldn’t be focused solely on loss but loss is felt when you care it’s inevitable. I also agree that what I did in protecting myself wasn’t malicious but it was selfish and hurtful at times to him and I am aware enough to see the unfair impact it’s had on him. However I will work at it and make it up to him because I do believe he is someone who makes my life more fulfilled and I want to risk it all again. Nothing in life is guaranteed.

@ adelaide I’m so glad your not just going for hook ups because before I met Jay I was in the mindset of get under someone to get over another and it doesn’t work and does more damage to your self esteem. Your new acquaintance has began to have more depth. So I’m happy for you that you are still being brave and risking it. You deserve the best!

@shelbyville I know your questions not addressed to me. However you always help me. I think if you have a chance to enhance your career and have new adventure grab it with both hands. Do the interview, shine and if you get it. Go for it. Make up industry job is fun but will it really challenge you?

Also with new beginnings. You may find new goals and new purpose. You seem actually in a better place so I’m not sure why your new friend thinks your lost.

You seem to have come to a point of acceptance. I wouldn’t have recommended contacting your ex because you may undo all your hard work and progress on trying to begin new pastures. Tread carefully.  Also if your ex is being very cordial it must most likely mean for him there’s someone new on the scene or he is completely done. Do you want to put yourself through that? Ultimately your own choice but don’t be sucked in again as an ex is an ex for a reason. Good luck too but fight your fears and brace a new adventure. Fortune favours the brave!