Hi Carol!

I’m hardly a relationship counselor, but have lived through what you are many times. I don’t like to advocate playing games in a relationship, but the reality is sometimes we need to chill out to get the result we want 🙂 You say he’s not making the effort you would like him to. But if you are always making the effort, it sends the wrong message. It sends the message: “You can continue doing what you are doing, because I will still be pursuing you”. That said, having a checklist of things he “should” be doing that you, and expecting someone to meet those, doesn’t make for a great relationship. You’ll always be disappointed. Of course you should have some deal-breakers, but this sounds a bit more like trying to control the outcome of everything.

I can’t think of a time in my relationships when backing off a bit hasn’t helped the situation- even if it only meant that the guy stopped contacting, which weeded out someone I shouldn’t be with anyway. This doesn’t sound that way. He  seems into you, but maybe needs a chance to prove it.  Some people just don’t want to communicate all the time. I am one of those, and maybe he is too. In this case, it’s not a reflection of how he feels about you. Good luck!