Dear anita,

Thank your for your response. You’ve got most of the story right. However, a couple of points :

– Throughout the 2 years that we knew each other at office, we used to meet often, have lunch together, go for events and walks etc, and I think we got to know each other quite well. I hinted that I was interested in her last Jan, and from what I can tell, she sensed it too, but I didn’t come out and tell her openly. One of the reasons I didn’t tell her was that I figured her going away was a way for me to see if this was something real for me. That’s the reason I waited till I met her in August last year to let her know how I felt. So, our closeness was not only though calls, texts and letters – that happened when she went away – but we spent a lot of time together at office, and on weekends, with the time together increasing in the few months before she left. However, as you rightly pointed out, I don’t think both of us were in the boyfriend-girlfriend mindset when spending time (although I was in the last few months leading upto her leaving the job).

– The idea of looking at moving to the country side in a few year’s time was something we discussed a few months back during one of those phases where she was unhappy with the distance. Over the next few days, she had agreed that this is something she was willing to do. However, things changed in the past few weeks when she again went through one of her quiet periods, which led to this situation.

As an update, in our call yesterday, she felt that we haven’t spent enough time with each other for her to be sure. After reading your response, I am interpreting this as – she felt we haven’t spent enough time with each her – acting and spending time together as a couple – for her to be sure.

Is there anything I can do now? or is she gone for good?

I am glad that you’ve got the gist of the story. I appreciate your help.

-jy