Anita,

After writing all that and reading it myself I realized those are problems only I can fix and I’m aware of that. I just want to feel I guess warm inside and feel safe somehow around him. Maybe I’m looking for some magical phrase or sentence to make the pain go away. I did look into therapy and I decided to take on that journey this year but I guess life had other plans this year.

I guess 2 hours is unrealistic I suppose. We don’t live together so I just really miss him more than he does. I told him that and he told me it would be better if we lived together. For various reasons at the moment I can’t. Maybe, I was just not seeing reality.

In the beginning of the relationship my feelings were not as strong as they are now so no, I didn’t demand much from him. I told him that as well. He, just didn’t know how to respond to that either.

It’s true. I guess I went through this relationship through one perspective and one way of loving someone.

(sigh) guess I need to see a therapist and figure myself out more. Maybe I didn’t heal as much as I thought I did over the years.

I just felt utterly lost as to what to do and how to react once I had this realization. I needed an outside perspective that wasn’t in my friends circle.

I appreciate the response thank you!