Dear Javairia:

Yes, I remember now, the gifts. It is clear to me then that you cared early on in your life to not vent excessively to people, to not burden others with your distress by talking endlessly, complaining, talking about suicide etc., like your mother did to you. This is definitely a value and a personality trait on your part that will need to find its way to that personal statement you need to make for universities to whom you apply.

When you gave people too many gifts and that made them feel uncomfortable, you changed that behavior, which is something your mother didn’t do: she didn’t stop venting to you even though it made you feel very uncomfortable (and I am sure it was clear to see by your facial expressions and behavior!)- this is another thing that will need to go into your personal statement: your  your willingness and ability to observe how your behavior affects others, and your willingness and ability to change your behavior for the benefit of others and yourself.

You asked me in your earlier post: “Do you feel like you ever picked up your mum’s behavior earlier or later?”- like you, I suffered so much by her venting and suicide talk that I did not repeat that behavior! Especially with her: I pretended I was okay best I could so to not burden her. But I did repeat some of her behavior, which became mine: being judgmental and hostile toward other people, distrusting all other people sooner than later, and behaving accordingly to such distrust and hostility.

“I really doubt my creativity, that I’ll be able to take a bit serious topic into a light and flowery piece. Do you have opinions over this topic?”- yes, don’t present a serious topic as a “light and flowery piece”. Present it as a serious topic! Between the extremes of an overly dramatic, excessively venting, suicidal person like your mother and mine and a happy-go-lucky person pretending to be fine and dandy at all times (like you’ve been trying to be), there is a middle ground.

Let me know  of your thoughts at this point, whenever you are ready (no rushing of this kind of work).

anita

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