Dear MG03:

I don’t think that chatting with him will harm his personal life or yours at this point. In this complicated situation you are in, best to tackle the situation step by step, one step at a time. First step is to let him know that there will be no physical contact between the two of you at work and outside of work, none whatsoever, and make sure this is so.

I don’t know what second step you should take, if any, after this first step. It remains to be seen, or figured out, later. For now, talk with him to your heart’s content, talk to him honestly. Aim more than to comfort him; aim at understanding him better by asking him questions about his state of mind and his life. For example, ask him how he feels when  he is with his wife, being physically intimate with her. Ask any question that you are curious about. And if you want, I’ll be glad to help you process the information you receive from him.

anita