Hi Anita,

Haven’t written on here in a while. Almost three weeks I think! I was having a weird day and I came back on here to read all the stuff we talked about and wow. I am doing sooo so much better since we last spoke. I still feel sad at times, but I have let go of anger, resentment, false hope as well. I have been very focused on work, learning new things, spending time with my dogs and talking to friends that lift my spirits up. It’s been limited of course, because of the quarantine, but I used to wake up dreading my days, and now when I wake up I feel I have things to look forward to.

Here is why I decided to come back on here to read through this stuff. After a month and a few days of not talking to my ex, we talked again. The conversation started super light and friendly, he mentioned he was surprised I had responded as he felt I would never talk to him again, and he thought I had blocked him too (I stopped watching his social media posts, deactivated my accounts for about a week and a half). Anyway it was a weird conversation. Weird in the sense of I started feeling like I was having such comfortable conversation with him. We were just catching up mostly, and he was telling me a lot about how he was glad that I was doing better, that I had been on his mind, but that he understood that what I did was for me and that he used the time to start thinking clearly. Anyway, he started bringing up a lot about stuff we used to do together, and even tried flirting with me. I decided that maybe it was too much and decided to take a step back from conversation.

I think I am handling all of this well, considering it was all sudden and well we exchanged maybe a bit too much information.. well I was feeling a bit nostalgic, thinking about the good things of our relationship (which were a lot more than bad). Obviously, he still did what he did, I made my peace with that so I could let go of all that was holding me back, so I don’t want to bring it up either, but I came on here to re read all the pain I felt and why it was a good thing that the relationship ended.

I don’t know why I had that feeling of wanting to try again you know? I obviously still care for him, I also know I am in a place where I can continue on with my life without him and still be very happy, I just need some advice, reassurance, maybe even analyzing what I am saying as right now I am feeling a bit confused if I’m honest.