Dear Lily27:

You are very welcome.

“for the first time it doesn’t feel like me against him, it feels like us against the situation”- this is the hallmark of a healthy, loving relationship.

“It was always due to circumstances that I felt like I couldn’t be fully happy”- people who experience unhappy childhoods, carry that early life unhappiness throughout their adult lives: all through changing locations/ people/ jobs/financial circumstances, etc.  There are moments of getting high on life, when experiences are new (ex., the honeymoon phase you mentioned), but that newness dies out and we are back to experiencing that early childhood experience.

“deep down I always feel like something is missing”- this is what I believe you experienced as a child, for years. I wonder what it was.

If your guy is an honest, trustworthy, decent, hard working person, then don’t leave him just yet. The something that is missing is not in him or in the relationship, it is within you. In the future, you can evaluate the relationship and figure out if there is something significantly missing in it. But so far, seems to me that you projected that early life something-is-missing into him and the relationship with him.

– And don’t rush to go back to your family where .. something is still significantly missing and where you were unhappy.

What do you think?

anita

• This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by .