Yes sorry for not being more clear. She died when I was eleven. And at that time, I was sad but I didn’t understand death yet. When I i turned 15 I started to understand death and immediately realized that my mom was dead,never coming back, never will see me graduate, meet my husband, kids, ETC. Now that I got over this faze, I just feel really close to her. Hoping that she’s guiding me in the right direction. And missing her and thinking about her every day.

I just love your take on things. You have a positive outlook and don’t think that just because your feeling different doesn’t mean to just break up. This is why I wanted your input in the first place.

I don’t want to hurt him Anita. So I understand what you mean. Don’t get back or break up with him. But wait until I am thinking with a balanced mind and understand what I actually want to do.

I’m sure I want him. I pray every night that I’ll get over the bad feeling. And I do, and when I do get over it. It’s an amazing feeling. I feel free. I feel like me and him will be great. But when its bad. I panic. I cry. I loose motivation.

When I talk to you i feel hope in my relationship. And you help me. But when I go on social media and when I read things people just say that im just a bad person… For what im doing to him. And I don’t know Who is right. But even my dad tells me that love isn’t consistant. And it is forever changing. And I know he’s right. It’s just that I feel the feeling a lot. And right now I feel so good and want to be with him but two hours ago I was thinking how I’m judt gonna leave him alone and stop stressing him. I need a remedy.

And yes were going to visit my moms tree. I have a gift for him,it’s a bond touch bracelet ( Google if you don’t knoe what it is,but I’m sure you do) and I’m not sure if i should give it to him, it was his birthday gift but it came really late should I give it to him? Or Wait till everything is healed ?

Also when I see him should we kiss? Or touch. Or hug, because we’re not together (but made it clear that we both have feelings) we haven’t got back together because he told me neither of us are doing any thing different in our lives, so if we get back together it’ll be the same stuff.

For two days it was gone because I had a different mindset and knew I’d get over it and not care anymore in a few hours. But now the other mindset I had is back

I could go on for hours. But why do you have this approach and not just tell me to leave him

I miss him so much.i just want to go back to a month ago before All of this,but thank you so much for always replying and helping. It means alot thank you for your patience. I just don’t want to give up on him. Because I read alot that this just happend until the other person gets fed up and leaves. And I don’t want thay to hap pen. I want to nip it in the bud for good. I need a therapist for sure.